Is it Love or is it Lust?

At first it's just a glance, you're looking around casually, and suddenly your interest is caught.  You stare, you can't help it, trying not to make it too obvious to those around you.  But your pulse quickens.  Maybe you look around to see if anyone notices that your heart is about to pound right out of your chest.

Your palms are sweaty.  You've been noticed.  OMG.....is that good.  MMMM...It's wonderful being noticed.  But have you been notice for the write right reasons?  Is it because you're making a spectacle of yourself?  Or is it because they are attracted to you?

Their words are like sweet nothings, whispered into your ear on a warm summers evening.  And you just can't get enough.  Even those that are not particularly eloquent are beautiful words because they were meant for you.  They have been whispered in your ear and you will remember them always.

But will they stick around for the long haul, or are they merely toying with your emotions.  Will this turn in to a lasting relationship, or is it to be what-bam-thank-you-mam.  Either way, you're so grateful for their attention, you're like a puppy dog.

So you take the next step and go on over to their place, and if your lucky, you have something in common.  You might even have a few laughs.  Or they might say something that touches your heart.  Sometimes you learn something new.  Sometimes, you realize that the lust you felt upon first sight has worn off, and while you like them well enough, it was not love at first sight, so you don't want to hang around. You don't even think you'll see them again.  And sometimes, (please no) they have made that decision about you.

Ah well, there are other fish in the sea.  You just have to get back out there.

Sound familiar?  Am I talking about blogging, or dating.  That feeling you get when you're checking your email and you notice one or two telling you that a comment has been left on your latest post?  Isn't it just like spotting that cutie in a bar, catching his/her eye?  Wondering if they really like you or just wanna hook up?  Okay, so I don't really remember much about dating.  But it sure seems similar to me!

This post was inspired by today's  fantastic and funny post by KJ at 12 paws and frogs (click here to check it out, you'll love it), and by all the lovely comments and new followers I've been lucky enough to get.  I appreciate all of you, you quicken my heart.  XOXOXO

And to those of you visiting my page, wondering  "should I stay or should I go?, I offer the romantic candlelight, wine, and the following little ditty:

You don't know how you met me
You don't know why, you can't turn around and say good-bye
all you know is when i'm with you I make you free
And swim through your veins like a fish in the sea
I'm singing....

Follow me
Everything is alright
I'll be the one to tuck you in at night
And if you want to leave
I can guarantee
You won't find nobody else like me...

                               (Uncle Kracker) 

Newsflash-Mojo Found!

Okay, as it turns out, I don't think she was ever really lost..... 

SHE WAS JUST BURIED UNDER A WHOLE LOTTA BULLSHIT!

Poor girl.  I mean  I'd buried her so far under piles and piles of crap (stress), I can't believe she didn't suffocate. 

There was marital stress.  That was rough.  And we had no idea how to fix it.  Round and round we went, just piling more and more crap on top of each other, on top of my Mojo (his too).

My  husband and I each lost a parent.  More crap (that pile just gets bigger and bigger on top of my Mojo)....

We had struggles with our children.  I mean, you have nine children from your previous marriages, you're gonna have struggles, and they don't politely take turns, several of them are gonna give you some kind of headache at once.  Mojo keeps getting buried....

Financial struggles (see above, nine children, thank God some are grown!).  Just pile more crap onto my Mojo...

Then there is my poor aging grandmother, who needed me to care for her after her hospitalization, while I was working and taking care of my family full time, but in her home, not mine.  Not that I didn't want to (I did want to, and I did it, but it was wasn't easy),   C'mon,  more crap for Mojo please....

And poor health, my own health was suffering too!  And you can't take time off work to take care of your own health..... OMG did you see that big pile of crap that just fell on Mojo!

Which brings me to the biggest pile of all.....work stress and lots of it.  A word of advice, not that you asked, if you are thinking of going into law, be it as support staff, or law school, and are considering family law.....RUN!!!!      

Pick something else.  Like, ANYTHING ELSE.  Sure, you might think you're gonna be able to help those people through their hard, emotionally trying times, and you might be able to help a little bit, but it will take it's toll on your Mojo.  And if you happen to be the "support staff" to a family law attorney...well, I'm sorry,  you're Mojo may still be alive down there, but you'll have to start digging her (or him) out.  Hurry!

So anyway, that's the story of how my Mojo got buried.  But you know what, I'm lucky.  Because I've had the time, and the support of my friends and family, and the positive comments of everyone that has visited my blog.  And because of that, slowly but surely, over the past few months I've been doing some excavating, and Mojo has been uncovered!

Hallelujah!  I've figured out that it's not so bad, not so sad, I like my life, my age, my body for what it can do for me (and I forgive it for what it can't).  I don't have to work a crappy job that I hate,  I can figure out something else (if you have any ideas I'd love to hear them please). My marriage ROCKS instead of being "rocky".  Grandma is back on her feet.  The kids...well, they're still kids but with less stress, a good marriage and my Mojo back I can cope.  Now I'm not going to say that every day is wine and roses (roses are expensive, some days it's just wine), or that I'm whistling Dixie out of my hoo-hoo every moment of the day, but all in all, life is pretty damn good.

I appreciate all of you that supported me this past several months, thank you.  Thank you Zinfandel, Cabernet, Sirah and Shiraz.  Gracias my fabulous Malbec, I do love you and appreciate you.  In all seriousness, thank you to to my friends, and to my kids, those that helped me through this, I know it's not easy having a mommy that's sick and stressed out and the last few years have been hard.  Thank you Ashley for being there and listening, being the oldest child isn't easy.    But I especially want to thank my husband, for loving me and for helping dig out my Mojo, especially when it was such hard work.  I love you.